Sunday, March 29, 2009

the sign says it all

thanks for finding this one Maggie, originally from pharyngula.

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fairy beard

It's school fete season. You can smell the fairy floss from Carlton to Merri Creek.

The Merri Creek fete won hands down for value for money - good books, reasonably priced plants but the coffee was crap. Fortunately Julio, conveniently opposite the school provided sanctuary for those seeking quality sustenance and caffeine far from the maddening crowd.

Back to my own neighbourhood, Sunday was Lee Street's turn to raise the coffers. I've been going to this fete on and off for two decades now but these days true bargains seem thin on the ground. The plant stall had lush pots of herbs but despite the generosity of size $12 seems a little excessive for a community fundraiser. Likewise $8 for some of jam.

Sadly, I came home empty handed except for the cute snap above.

At least fairy floss is still affordable, though I'll be keeping a low profile this afternoon while hundreds of local children hit one almighty sugar crash!

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

boycott nandos

Ok, so I don't watch TV or eat fast food. Sorry if this is old news. But there is nothing funny about this ad riddled with stereotypes.

Take one blonde.

Create a new product with two slices of chicken.

Add one advertising wonderkid.

And this is what you get....

Dumb blonde, big tits, sexist crap.

Come on this is 2009, you can do better than that.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009


Shakespeare St, North Carlton

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Thursday, March 19, 2009

you gotta handle it to 'em

"Recession? What recession?", the barman smugly replied when I asked how things were going at the Star in the current economic climate.

However, a trip to the loo told another story.

No need for a plumber, when you've got a cork handy!

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Friday, March 13, 2009

the cause of homosexuality - all is revealed!

I used to find crackpots amusing.

Now I just find them annoying.

Like the delusional Jim Ritz who's discovered the cause of small penises, sexual confusion and homosexuality. It all comes down to a humble bean.

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them.

...oh and while he's at it, according to Ritz it causes leukaemia, delayed puberty, small balls, thick uteruses and a lot more.

All this from an independent news company dedicated to uncompromising journalism, seeking truth and justice and revitalizing the role of the free press as a guardian of liberty.

It's enough to make me want to down a litre of soy milk before bed.

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Thursday, March 12, 2009

after the fires comes rain

Not a lot of precipitation, no flashy red hues on the radar map but wetness none the less.

We Melbourne folk have become rather simple in our desires - a good artisanal loaf of bread, a crisp white wine and drops of water from the sky.

Though, out of pure selfishness if I could at "cats who do not howl in the night" to the list I would be even happier.

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

rural education standards decline

Polyester window, Fitzroy

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Thursday, March 05, 2009

bits. bobs and budgeting for the barren

A peek inside my muddled brain.

The digital headline on The Age site read "Gordon Brown Addresses Congress". It was a full minute into envisaging this before I realised it was Brown, the Prime Minister of England, not Ramsay the media, hungry foul-mouthed chef they were talking about. Though I kind of liked the idea of leaders of the crumbling Western world getting a darn good bollocksing.

I am considering making March a Global Financial Crisis Fast. It was hearing a radio promo featuring this school-marmy woman's voice telling the listener off for even considering not taking this crisis seriously and warning us that this is just the tip of the iceberg and we cannot bury our heads in the sand. Quite frankly I am sick of being told I should be afraid, be very afraid and am expecting a SMS from the Victorian police any moment now telling me that there is an extreme financial meltdown warning and I should stay glued to my local ABC radio for further details.

I am ungluing myself for now but in the spirit of all things thrifty and frugal have posted some financial advice for the barren that could be equally as entertaining to the Congress.

In the meantime I shall keep calm and carry on and swap the TV, radio and soppy women's mags for a decent game of live scramble on FaceAche.

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Monday, March 02, 2009

been busy

Camping at the beach with the roos and wallabies.

Amusing visitors.

Cutting up my Amex card ("proudly a member since 1998").

Harvesting a colander a day of tomatoes.

Playing Lady Bountiful around my neighbourhood giving out parcels of fresh produce.

Eating grapes warmed by the sun, straight from the vine.

Dreaming of Bali.

Drying tomatoes and preserving them in garlicky oil.

Freezing grapes.

Doing my BAS and paying my GST.

Making raspberry I-can't-believe-its-not-ice-cream.

Appeasing grief-stricken howling cats in the middle of the night.

Not sleeping (see above).

Worrying about tomorrow's apocalyptic threats.

Still on the "to do" list:

2007-2008 tax return

work newsletter due yesterday

the dishes

clean the fridge (I really do think about such things in the middle of the night)

exercise (what's that?)

make a bunch of outstanding phone calls


And you?


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